Put your PAWS UP!!!

And your CLAWS OUT!  Sometimes those everyday little slights against us committed by others just are too much and you can't help but say or do something. 

For instance, this buggy of old women (a Toyota Camry in beige) spent FIVE MINUTES backing out of, and then pulling into, a parking space.  I was stuck there while they tried to remember what they were doing.  So after the 5th minute I yell out the window, "Just park the car you old bitch.  Cars are backing up while you try and figure your business out."  I'll be damned if one grandma didn't actually get out of the car and try to make something in it.  I thought she was going to slash my tires.

Or for example, say you're at the movie theater and you just happen to be in one of those pissed off moods, with everyone in general.  A couple approaching has that annoying aura about them you just can't bear to suffer the next 2 hours, even in the dark.  When the girl asks you if they can sit next you, you flat out tell her the truth.  "Sure, but let us switch seats because I don't think I can handle sitting next to you through the whole movie." 

And then perhaps, maybe at another movie, some kid old enough to know better (we're talking 11 or 12 here) has been crawling all over the bars and using his "outdoor voice" the whole movie.  The movie is at it's climax.  His grandmother does nothing   And before you know you've said it.  "Can it, Pork Chop!," and are then looking around with the rest of the crowd to see who said it. Then my Dad and I looked just looked at each other in the theater and didn't say anything.  As soon as we got out to the car though, he was gone laughing.

Lord knows we have to take it in the ass a lot of the time dealing with people in this world, so sometimes, when you've just had enough, go ahead and treat yourself.  Say something instead of being miserable and tight-lipped.